Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Dark Dave Conquers the Moon

The other day a friend was telling me how she often sympathizes with the villains in stories which reminded of an assignment I did back in high school in Writing 12 where we had to write a children's story. Since I was feeling lazy today, I decided I'd just put that up for you instead of writing brand new material (though I did alter the ending a bit). Enjoy.

Of all the supervillains in history of time there has only been one that can claim to be the evilest. A villain so vile that all the heroes tremble in fear at the mention of his name, and all the crooks bow low as he walks past. That villain is me, Dark Dave.

I have the power to send things flying and to run really, really fast. I have a black cape and a black mask. I have a ray gun and a watch that glows in the dark. But I don’t have a secret lair.

I need to find the perfect place for a base. Somewhere nobody would ever look surrounded in darkness. Some place large enough to house all my contraptions and clever plans. I don’t know where that place could be, but it’s definitely not my bedroom.

With no clue what I should use as a lair I turned to the sky for ideas. And there it was. Of course! It was so obvious. The moon had it all, and best of all there was nobody else up there to bother me or tell me what to do. I could hardly wait to go, but first I had to get some special equipment.

I rushed to my toy- I mean Box of Evil to gather my stuff. I knew that there was no air on the moon and no gravity either. So I got my snorkel so I could breathe and put some rocks in my pockets to weigh me down. That should do it. Now all I had to do was get there.

Most people get to the moon on rocketships, but I don’t have a rocketship so I’ll have to come up with something else. I might try building my own, but I don’t think I have the stuff to do that. Rocketships also make lots of fire and I know that fire is hot and if the stove has taught me anything it’s that hot things hurt.

First I tried jumping, but I couldn’t even reach the roof of my house. So I tried putting springs on my shoes to give me more bounce, but when I tried jumping on them I just fell flat on my face. I’ll work on that little kink when I get to the moon.

Maybe I could fly there, like a bird. That sounds easy enough. All I have to do is make some wings. Luckily I am great inventor so that shouldn’t be too hard. Just cut up some paper to look like feathers and then glue it onto some cardboard and presto! You got a pair of wings. Now I just have to try them out.

Bad news. It didn’t work as well as I’d hoped. No matter how fast I ran I couldn’t get in the air. I don’t know how kites do it. Birds just jump out of trees to fly, so I thought it was worth a shot. My mom, on the other hand, did not. But it wasn’t all bad. It did give me another idea.

When I climbed the tree in my backyard I realized that it was the closest I had come to reaching the moon. It kind of worked like a ladder. And that’s how I came up with the idea to build a ladder to the moon. It’s safe, cheap, and foolproof. I think the tree will be a good place to start building from. It’s already pretty high and I kind of like it up there.

All the supplies I need are in my basement. It’s pretty dark down there, but nowhere near as dark as Dark Dave. I ran down the stairs and found the hammer, some nails, and as much wood as I could carry then ran back up as fast as I could (I was pressed for time you see, so I had to run).

I took everything outside and got to work. This was going to take a long time. I figure at least three hours. I might not even be finished before bedtime. It was really tough work and some things didn’t nail together quite right, but I kept at it because Dark Dave never gives up.

My dad saw me building outside and came out to see what was up. I told him I was building a ladder to the moon. He asked if I wanted any help. At first I thought Dark Dave should work alone, but then I realized that most villains have minions. So I told him that he could help.

He wasn’t really much help though. Nothing he did looked like the plan I had in mind. It didn’t even really look like a ladder. I think he even put a roof on it. What kind of ladder has a roof on it? Oh well. I guess you can’t expect much from a mindless minion. I’ll make some better ones after I reach the moon.

After a while I was feeling hungry so I went inside get some food. A villain can’t work on an empty stomach after all. And I left my minion outside to continue with the plans. On the way back from the kitchen I got distracted by the T.V. I wanted to see if I had made the news yet. Turns out cartoons don’t tell you the news.

After a while I decided to go back outside to see how my minion was doing. What I saw looked nothing like a ladder at all. It looked more like a small house, and it was in a tree of all places. I think even the worst minions know the difference between a ladder and a house so I must have the worst minion ever.

I was about to go yell at my minion who was still working on the house, but when I climbed up I was impressed by what I saw. It was really roomy in the treehouse with plenty of space for all my gadgets and plans and best of all it was dark. Maybe my minion isn’t so bad after all. I might hire him on steady.

So now I finally have my secret lair. I call it The Fortress of Doom. I put in a table to work at and brought up all of my best devices. I even made a super secret candy hole where I hide my favorite food. It may not be the moon, but as I look up into the night sky and see it shining down, I realize it was with me all along. It’s time to start plotting…

Bonus points to whoever can come up with a good name for Dark Dave's mortal enemy.

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