Friday, April 20, 2012

My History in Profile Pictures

Your Facebook profile pictures say a lot about who you are and who you were, and it can both entertaining and intriguing to look back at old photos to see where you’ve been and ho far you’ve come. I have never actually used a photo of myself for my profile picture. That probably says a lot right there. In any case, here are all my profile pictures starting with my first going right up to the present day accompanied with my interpretation of what they say about me.

You may notice that this is also my Blogspot profile picture. I’m quite fond of this photo partly because I took it myself while on vacation in Ontario, and also because I never get tired of the absurdity of this sign. To this day, I’m still not entirely certain what its purpose is. I think this photo accurately summarizes my sense of humour and my love of the ridiculous.

This picture inaugurates my “Failblog” phase of profile pictures and is also my favourite example of them. Like the previous photo, it’s an accidentally ridiculous image that implies Superman is about to rape a small boy. If you don’t find that statement to be inherently hilarious then clearly you do not share my dark sense of humour.

I’ve talked about this picture in a previous post which I’m too lazy to dig up, but suffice to say it is disturbing by any standards. What kind of child would be put at ease by this dental aid? This photo tells you that I’m fascinated by abominations.

Hahaha! That kid is faceplanting! Actually, I’m beginning to notice a trend here…

Yep. I definitely enjoy watching children suffer.

For those of you who are functionally retarded, or not Canadian, this is our current prime minister, Stephen Harper, holding a kitten. Again, it’s a fairly absurd photograph that I’m assuming was taken in a hilariously failed attempt to quash complaints that Harper is robotic. As a profile picture, it tells you that I’m a politically aware individual.

I like board games. Especially when I can eat them.

It’s funny because it looks like that one mouse from Cinderella is pulling anal beads out of that other mouse! I have a pretty depraved mind.

Not gonna lie guys, I’d probably make a terrible father.

And thus begins my new phase of using fictional characters as my profile pic. I chose Arnold because I frequently gravitate towards the voice of reason in books/movies who are normally only supporting characters (such as Tom Hagen in The Godfather). I like that they made a TV show where he was the main character. This shows that I appreciate intelligence and forethought.

Gambit is boss! Also, I’m geeky…. EXPLODING PLAYING CARDS!!!!!!

This is a picture of my dad in high school. This shows that I like to make myself look good in comparison to other people and am contemptuous of my family.

I’m assuming you all read my post on Dr. Krieger and why he is awesome. He is everything I find funny rolled into one compact package. I love him.

Cassidy from the graphic novel, Preacher. He’s a drunk Irish vampire. This demonstrates my love of quality literature. Because I classify comic books as literature. Suck it.

I just think this would be an awesome crossover.

This is the closest I’ve come to using an actual photo of myself as my profile picture as it’s a screenshot of my main character in Guild Wars. As you can see, I’d just achieved god status (getting a bunch of achievements) and was quite pleased with myself. This picture proves that I do not, in fact, have a life.

This a pumpkin I carved last Halloween that I’m quite proud of. This shows my rarely seen arts and crafts side which is rarely seen because I suck at arts and crafts.

This is a picture of my good friend, Joyce Ngu, eating a potato chip in a very bizarre fashion. To be honest, I only put this up for like 5 minutes just to laugh at her get mad. Personally, I think it’s a lovely photograph. Also, I can be a jerk to my friends on occasion.

In all honesty guys, my grandpa looks cooler than James Dean here. Look at him: standing in the wilderness, carrying a rifle, smoking a cigarette, and straight up not giving a shit about anything except killing some bears. I will never be this cool. This shows both my love for my family and my love of all things badass.

 Yep, that about says all there is to know about me. Bonus points to whoever finds a photo that sums up my personality.