Wednesday, December 29, 2010

The Story of Justin, The Littlest Penis

Here's a very special story I wrote for a very special friend indeed. Enjoy.

Gather round children and hear my wondrous tale,
About the tiniest penis on any scale.

Justin was his name, or so it goes,
And try as he might, he just couldn’t grow.

He’d stand in front of his mirror as tall as he could,
But no amount of stretching did him any good.

Justin was just so miniscule you see,
That he was hardly larger than a bee.

His shortcomings caused him much distress,
And his attempts to compensate met with little success.

Behind guns and fast cars, he sought to hide,
But everyone saw through his pathetic disguise.

“Look at that Justin!” shouted Richard the Meany,
“He is nothing more than a teeny weeny!”

The twins, Woody and Willy weren’t any more polite,
As they mercilessly mocked his pitiful height.

“My lord, how that Justin is so terribly small,
He’s barely bigger than one of my balls.”

“Speaking of balls, let’s use him for soccer,
And then once we’re done we’ll shove him in a locker.”

After this torture and cruel abuse,
Justin ran to his only friend John with his blues.

“I hate being small, I want to be massive,
I’m tired of being tiny and passive!”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry,” said John,
“We must take what we’re given, and carry on.”

“Easy for you to say, you have no problems with size,
When people see you, they can’t believe their eyes.”

“Everybody is either envious or afraid,
Of your impressively gigantic blade.”

“That may be so, but my advice still holds true,
You can’t let your size rule over you.”

But Justin was still not entirely sure,
That he could be a somebody while so demure.

Just then they heard a cry and a shout,
And the pair rushed off to see what it was about.

Little Baby Dill had fallen into a deep hole,
But the entrance was tiny, and could barely fit a mole.

All the penises tried to squeeze in with all their might,
But they just couldn’t do it, the slit was too tight.

Then Justin stood up and rolled back his sleeve,
And said, “I believe I can fit through that squeeze.”

“You are all far too big and bulky,
But this job looks just the right size for me.”

So down he wiggled through that narrow crevice,
And grabbed Baby Dill at the base of the abyss.

He returned to the surface amidst cheers of joy,
Everybody had kind words for the heroic boy.

“Huzzah for Justin, hero of the day!”
Cried Woody in glee, “Hooray!”

“He’s a champion, a star, the best,”
Exclaimed Willy with sincere zest.

“I’m sorry for saying such mean things before,”
Apologized Richard, making Justin’s heart soar!

Never again would he despise
His tiny, diminutive, puny, laughable size.

So, remember this moral my friends,
That size doesn’t matter in the end.

Now wasn't that tasteful?

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