Monday, August 9, 2010

Double Digits FAQ Extravaganza!!!

In celebration of finally attaining the lofty goal of 10 followers, I have decided to answer 10 questions about myself that people tend to ask me a lot. Hopefully you'll find my answers satisfactory.

1. Why did you give your online persona (Dr. Strangelove X) a pseudonym (Snake-Eyes Damascus)?

A) Who's to say it's not my real name? Plus, Snake-Eyes Damascus is a pretty awesome name. You too can also awesomify your name. Just take a super sweet animal (like a scorpion) and a city in the middle east with lots of syllables (like Fallujah) and stick them together (to make Scorpio Fallujah).

2. You call your blog DSX Reviews, but the vast majority of what you write isn't reviews at all. Why is this?

A) I'll write whatever the hell I want. Deal with it!

3. What's the deal with that tree in your profile pic?

A) That's a picture I personally took while vacationing in Ottawa. We went to the site of the Battle of Chrysler's Field (which took place during the War of 1812 in case you care about Canadian military history) and I saw that peculiar sign hanging from a tree seen in the photograph. To this day I am still uncertain as to what purpose that sign serves so I'll just leave it to your own interpretation.

4. What is the former name of Istanbul?

A) Istanbul was known as Constantinople until the Ottoman Turks took over. And before that it was known as Byzantium.

5. What is your degree and what do you plan to do with it after you graduate?

A) Well that's two questions, but I'll let it slide. I am majoring in world literature, and I plan to marry rich.

6. What is your favourite movie?

A) Are you serious? It's in the name of my blog, it's the name I always use online, and I've talked about on at least two separate occasions on my blog where I referred to it as my favourite movie. I am so irate right now I am not even going to tell you the answer.

7. How do I get girls to like me?

A) I don't know what makes you think I am qualified to answer such a question, but I'll give it a go anyway. I find that the line "Want to make an easy 50 bucks?" generally does the trick. Just remember to treat your women like you treat your airplane: hop in her three times a day and take her to heaven and back again.

8. Why are you such an asshole?

A)Truth be told, it's because the only way I can feel like my life has any value is by debasing and belittling the lives of others. In this way I feel a rush of power and superiority over my peers. Looking back on what I just wrote, it's seems a to be a little bit weird. Yep, that's some fucked up shit right there. Let's just say that I'm an asshole because that's how I roll, bitches!

9. Do you have anger management issues?

A) What the fuck did you just say to me? No I don't have anger management issues! I am a well balanced and positive individual. And if you ever suggest that I have anger management issues again, I'll find out where you live and kill you. No, I'll find out where your mother lives, fuck her brains out, then come to your house and kill you. I WILL EAT YOUR FUCKING CHILDREN! I WILL EAT THEM ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, caps.

10. You are clearly a deranged and depraved individual. You shouldn't even be allowed outside of your house, nevermind be allowed to share your sick and twisted thoughts with the internet. Why should I continue to read your offensive and disturbing blog?

A) Because you know you can't stop watching.

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