DUFF (Designated Ugly Fat Friend)

This little song was inspired by the title/premise of a book a friend of mine was reading. It is meant to be sung to the tune of Van Halen's "Jump".

We’ve been friends, despite our ups and downs.
Right to the end, even though you dress like a clown.
That being said, it’s all a part of your charm.
You look half-dead, I don’t mean you no harm.
Oh, I gotta tell you the truth
I just chill with you to boost my self-esteem
I know that it’s mean.
But I really need

My fat, ugly DUFF. DUFF!
Compared to my DUFF.
I’m really hot stuff. DUFF!
Oh, I love my DUFF.

Haa-oww! Hey you! Don’t be like that.
I know it’s cruel.
You say I’m shallow, yet you don’t know
How you always drool.
So, I gotta tell you the truth
That whenever we go out to hit the scene
I make you stand next to me
So that I seem pretty

Compared to my DUFF. DUFF!
My fat, ugly DUFF.
Oh, I love my DUFF. DUFF!
I’m really hot stuff.